Monthly Archives: April 2013

You Dirty Bird!

“MISERY” has been on the mind a lot lately. In case you are unaware, MISERY is a Stephen King novel. It follows Paul Sheldon, a best selling author, as he is recovering from a bad car wreck under the care of a fan who found him. The fan is Annie Wilkes, a nurse who has read all of Paul’s books. As time goes by, Paul begins to realize Annie is not exactly sane, and he must fight to escape Annie’s home.

The book was made into a film in 1990 with James Cann as Paul and Kathy Bates as Annie. This is the film that launched Bates’ fame. She even won an academy award. The role had been offered to Bette Midler, but she passed on it. Midler has since stated it’s one of her biggest regrets.

I love the film. There’s nothing wrong with it. But, in this day in age, no film is safe. It’s bound to be “remade” or “re imagined” someday. Case in point: Stephen King’s CARRIE is being remade, and that hits theatres this October.

While I would love to pen the screenplay to a MISERY redux, that’s not really what this is about. This is just who I’d cast.

Let’s talk about PAUL SHELDON first. Paul is an older man. He’s an established writer. He’s very smart and isn’t weak in any way— normally. That’s one of the biggest themes in the original film. Paul isn’t weak. But after his car crash, he can’t walk or even feed himself. He struggles with this on top of dealing with a psycho.


Kevin Spacey needs no introduction. He’s a brilliant actor. He’s the male version of Meryl Streep, in my opinion. His talent combined with his overall look just brings me to the conclusion he’d make an excellent Paul.

The original film invented a few characters, for the sake of getting away from Annie’s house for a few seconds. They created BUSTER, the town sheriff  who begins to investigate the car crash and eventually, find Paul.  The original film had Richard Farnsworth in the role.


Matthew Mcconaughey. This might be a strange choice. But let me explain… first, I’ll admit, there’s a bit of sex appeal here. I’m not saying there would be sex. But, a younger, more attractive sheriff would be interesting. As a writer, I’d probably create some sort of ‘love interest’ situation with this. Love coming from Annie, you understand. Not Buster.

Spoiler: Buster finds Paul but is shot in the back with a rifle by Annie.  I think that a younger, more in shape sheriff getting killed by a woman has more “gasp” potential.  If in fact there was a “love interest” vibe,  Annie killing him has a bit more believability. She kills him because he rejects her.

And now… Annie Wilkes. Annie is an introvert, mainly staying at home. She used to be a nurse, so she has a lot of experience with medicine and the like. However, she clearly has some psychological disorders— and is obsessed with Paul to the point that she’ll kill him if he tries to leave.


,Melissa Mccarthy… have you heard of her? She is a somewhat new actress, but is quickly sweeping the industry up. She’s got talent. You can just SEE it. Those who know her work, might find this selection odd. To my knowledge, she has not done any dramatic work. But, I feel this role could be the one that showcases her full potential. And, Annie can be “zany” in part, too. She’s not always dark and psychotic. Of course, this element might be all thanks to Kathy Bates. But a new script could certainly play to Mccarthy’s strengths. This is just a situation where I know if they gave her the role, she’d kick ass and excel at it.  I will point out that Annie is meant to be a larger woman. And, I do feel that my selection could be misunderstood. I just really, really think Mccarthy needs this role. She could do it.

Alright. Where, there you go. That’s who’d I cast in a remake of MISERY. So, Hollywood— when you decide to go this route, give me a call. 😉

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Attractive Popularity.

I was live on younow. My hair was messy and I was… well, me. I’m not attractive by any means and I’m extremely self-conscious. I’m always worried what someone might think when they come into my room.

To my surprise, the viewer counter switched to 1 and I was quite surprised. Then it went to 2. Then to 3. I talked a bit about my writing, my experience as a 4th grader and being traumatized by a spider— nothing terribly important. But, people were watching me and staying. People like COREY RAY and FRANCIS SAUVE stopped by. You know— semi-famous Younowers. The fact that THEY stopped in to watch ME was nice. I was quite shocked, really.

I was in the TALK NOW channel, where people go live at once. We are all in a “queue” and whomever visits the site can decide to watch you or someone else. I glanced at the others broadcasting. Aside from the girl who managed to have the featured spot— each broadcaster had about 3 or people watching them.

I had been live for about twenty minutes when suddenly, a broadcaster jumped to the number one spot. And, I noticed that his viewership was extremely high— 86 people. Now, you have to understand— in TALK NOW— it’s a miracle when even 10 people are watching you. This person was not even in the “featured” spot and had 86 people! I ended my broadcast and decided to see just who this person was.

It was Kane Foster.


I’ve never heard of him before. The people chatting kept saying things like, “OMG WOULD YOU MARRY ME?” and the occasional, “WOULD YOU DATE ME EVEN IF I HAVE SCARS FOM A SURGERY?”

Kane seemed quite nice. Apparently, he’s starting a clothing line and hopes to begin making YOUTUBE videos soon. After watching him for awhile, I decided to see just why he was so popular. It didn’t take long to see he had a TUMBLR. He talked about it a bit— he gives advice occasionally and posts photos he takes. His tumblr managed to get noticed and boom— popularity.

However, it’s important to note that Kane is 19. He’s Australian. He’s tall. He’s lean. He has a nice smile. (As you all could clearly see from the photo above.)  Now, don’t misunderstand me— I’m not bashing his advice giving or photos. But, I think it’s fair to say he’s probably popular mostly due to his looks.

Eventually, there were 300 people watching him. And this was at midnight. Pretty impressive. Eventually I left his broadcast and noticed something… only one more channel had more viewership than him: JACK AND FINN.

JACK AND FINN had 600 people watching some girl. She was not who they were after. They were after Jack and Finn Harries… a set of identical twins. I’d never heard of them either. But, there were 600 people waiting because apparently they were to appear in just a few minutes. Jack and Finn are children to a famous British couple who produce shows and films. The twins themselves have a popular youtube channel. I just glanced at one. The twins are charismatic and would fit perfectly on any Magazine cover.


My point is this: It pays to be attractive.

And, while fame is something I’m not after particularly… a part of me felt some sadness. It must be a thrill to be popular. To have 300… 600… 1000 people stay up late just for a chance to talk with you.

I can’t imagine how often their phones ring. How much money they make. How it must feel to walk down the street.

Fame is nothing new. But with the internet, certain people are gaining fame when they wouldn’t ordinarily would. And I’m not suggesting their attractiveness is their sole reason for fame. But, it’s obviously a part. Being attractive gets you in the door. Your talent ( Kane’s design skills or Jack’s acting skills) keeps people watching.

And I just thought….that must be an interesting feeling—  to be sought after like that. The kind of thing that  causes people  to scream when you click the “follow” button on Twitter.

Not always, you understand.  But just once would that be something to experience. To be popular for a day.

But, that won’t ever happen to me.

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“Pretty Little Girl” Page Preview

Just a sneak peak of what I’m calling “Pretty Little Girl”, a script that takes place a few weeks after the events of “Bitter Sweet Symphony.”

pretty girl 3

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